San Diego Padres starting pitcher Joe Musgrove (44) celebrates his no-hitter with first baseman Jurickson Profar (10) against the Texas Rangers. Mandatory Credit: Jim Cowsert-USA TODAY Sports

Apr 9, 2021; Arlington, Texas, USA; San Diego Padres starting pitcher Joe Musgrove (44) celebrates his no-hitter with first baseman Jurickson Profar (10) against the Texas Rangers at Globe Life Field. Mandatory Credit: Jim Cowsert-USA TODAY Sports

There's an old phrase — "You'll never work in this town again!" — which was popularized by Hollywood producers to threaten actors they had difficulties with. Or something like that.

A newer phrase, seemingly popularized in the sports world, is the converse: "They'll never have to buy another drink in this town." That's what we say when a team wins the World Series, or something like it, to reward the hometown guys for making the fans feel so good.

In related matters, Ballast Point Brewing is making sure that right-hander Joe Musgrove, because he threw the first no-hitter in San Diego Padres history April 9, won't ever have to buy another beer in his hometown again.

Ballast Point sent a pallet of 44 six-packs of beer (Musgrove wears uniform No. 44), including several bottles of Friar Ale, to Petco Park as a thank-you for the no-no. They also sent a card entitling Musgrove to free beer for a lifetime at any Ballast Point Brewing location. 

Musgrove really is never going to have to buy another beer in this town again. At least for himself. We already know that his bladder can handle a lot of water.

"Holy cow!" Musgrove said after reading the card, adding that Ballast Point was his "favorite spot."

Maybe so, but Ballast Point had to do it — it was the law.

Just minutes after Musgrove finished off his no-no, the local government in San Diego enacted a little local Prohibition on his behalf. With the stroke of pen on Twitter, San Diego Mayor Todd Rex Gloria agreed to prevent Musgrove from ever having to buy a beer in San Diego again.

How is this law going to be enforced? If Musgrove ever slips up and orders a beer at Ballast Point Brewing — or anywhere else in the City of San Diego — and Beer S.W.A.T. bursts into the place and arrests him, will the Padres be able to spring him before his next start? Government never thinks about the unintended consequences of its actions.

Ballast Point began as a local microbrew, the first of its kind in San Diego since Prohibition. It has since been sold for $1 billion. Not "like a billion dollars," but an actual $1 billion. So they can afford to keep Musgrove saturated for the next 75 years. Still, it's a cool gesture and a natural bit of marketing. And the law.

(Bally Sports hat tip: USA Today Sports)

Featured Podcast

See all