A view of the Texas Rangers logo and batters circle at Globe Life Park in Arlington. Mandatory Credit: Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports

Sep 3, 2018; Arlington, TX, USA; A view of the Texas Rangers logo and batters circle during the game between the Texas Rangers and the Los Angeles Angels at Globe Life Park in Arlington. Mandatory Credit: Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports

Gender reveal parties: scourge of the new millennium. The bigger they get, the dumber they get and, sometimes, the more dangerous they get.

But what happens when nothing happens at the gender reveal party? What happens when nobody’s aunt is sent to the hospital because somebody used too much dynamite, or too many fireworks burned down the neighborhood?

At least this time, down in Texas reportedly, something funny happens when an expectant father in a red Rangers jersey can’t connect on any of the underhand pitches being thrown by his pregnant partner. Any of them!

It’s a no-hitter!

Unofficial count:

• Eight pitched swings and misses

• One self swing and miss

• Five balls

• Two dogs

She gave him nine swings, like in a home-run derby, and he made nine outs. Something like this has happened before at a gender reveal party shown later on the internet. Just last year, in fact. This one seems worse. Honestly, the guy in the Rangers jersey, his form isn’t bad on some of these swings, it’s just abysmal timing. He was swinging at strikes while she was firing blanks. Better than him firing the blanks especially when we’re talking about making a baby. So it’s not the most emasculating thing in the world. Only close.

You know: She’s the one with child but maybe she also should be the one swinging the bat.

Texas Rangers Leaders

Strikeout Percentage (through Monday)

This Guy 1.000

Joey Gallo .385

Nick Solak .288

David Dahl .280

Nate Lowe .276

Isiah Kiner-Falefa .183

Featured Podcast

See all